The Safe and The Brave

I never thought of myself as brave. Never. Not even now. And that’s the problem. I’ve always been safe. That’s a problem. I’ve been telling myself ever since I started college that I would change that: I’d be bold, and speak out, and be resolute. I’d fail and not feel crushed enough to stop trying. But for the past two years I didn’t feel like I had changed enough.  I’m not going to pretend like I don’t know why, because I do. The problem was and still is myself, and the fact that the fear of  change paralyzes me most of the time instead of forcing me to get off my ass. I am my own worst enemy.

But I’m my own greatest ally, too. Last year in October I cut off most of my hair. Initially it wasn’t anything serious, I just wanted something different. But this change came with a lot of work and it was tiring at first but after a while I realized that I had to do it because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be happy with myself. Then I got this GREAT idea to apply this notion to the everything else that was happening in my life and guess what, things started looking up. I have new strengths, as well as a better understanding of my existing ones. I’m not entirely where I want to be right now but I’m getting there. Even though my work ethic needs work, I can get shit done. I am good at things. I think its brave that I can admit to my faults and admittance is the first step right?

I’m brave because I have a passion for art and design and even though A LOT of people think it’s useless (they don’t know what they’re talking about), I’m still going to pursue it, and make something of it, because I (kind of) don’t care about the money. I just want to make a living doing what I love, not living off of whatever job can earn the most money. I have friends and cousins my age who don’t know what their passion is or they don’t have a clue about what they want to do after school, and I get smug and feel good about myself because I’m the exact opposite. I have a vision, I have direction, I just need to muster up enough courage step further out of my comfort zone, to go big or go home to get what I want in life.

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One response to “The Safe and The Brave

  1. I think you are brave for admitting that you need to become more bold and learn to speak up. It’s a feat to admit to your weaknesses, so that’s something you do well. And I believe in order to grow, that’s the first step. So you are well on your way to where you want to be. Also, it is very brave to enter into the design and art world. It’s a whole new world and we get to opportunity to shape it. Keep it up!

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